quick update:

1) it's the third week of Syawal already. as always, my Eid was boring as ever. mom and me had a short getaway at Morib, sadly i cant play by the beach. nobody came beraya and i didnt go to beraya to any house. win-win situation. honestly since Eid has become so boring i kind of getting this feeling that 'celebrating' Eid not because of and as what syaria' claimed is useless. 

2) i have been having severe headaches for the past week. i tried everything - caffeine, painkiller (that means tabs of Ponstan and Ibuprofen). it wasnt migraine because i know how my migraine will be so it's getting pretty annoying now. even more annoying is that i told mom about it but instead of worrying she scolded me back. "apa masalah kamu ni?" like lol wtf mom

3) i dont want to go to hospital anymore. im done with judgmental looks, sarcasms and a lot of questions. they have started asking me for money too. i have xanax to last me enough. that's all i need.

4) it's my birthday tomorrow, and we just had a huge fight. again. im getting sick of fighting on big days. my first day for degree, first Ramadhan, first Syawal, anniversary. im barely hanging there, in fact i dont feel like i have the strength anymore. it's only have been 2 years and 2 weeks but i wonder if the love is fading. or is it merely because of this absence. im not quite sure. i tried changing but there were no rooms given. i tried everything but i guess things wont work out if it comes only from one side, eh?

No comments: