so Mango is dead, like an hour ago.
i just wish i woke up even more earlier, drive more faster, i wish the road was clear, i wish he could hold on a little bit longer. because i was driving as fast as i could to get him to the clinic, but it was 8:30 of tuesday morning, so who am i kidding hoping the road was clear? i almost hit a stupid car bcs he was so stupid and bcs i was looking at Mango. he was so weak, i was so scared. but we were almost there, the thing that i am scared of eventually happened. we were almost fucking there, but he died. and i have a very hard time to try and calm myself bcs i was still driving in a long massive jam.
that was the last picture of him. i stopped the car by the roadside bcs i just cant help it. he was already dead in that picture. he was so weak. to see that he didnt move anymore breaks me inside out. i was so attached to him bcs i was needed to nurse him when we first got him and now it feels that i was left alone again in this room. when i used to lock both of us in my room, and keep him only to myself, now seeing that that little fury orange ball is missing from this bed -- i dont know. i dont fucking know how to describe this.
some said its only a cat. clearly they never had one.
Mango, 11 April 2013 (adopted) - 7 May 2013
No comments:
Post a Comment